


Pillar to Post

by greenkangaroo



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Disaster Relief, Gen, chouji-centric, fairytales - Freeform, maybe it's posession maybe it's maybelline, postcanon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-14
Updated: 2017-08-26
Packaged: 2018-11-14 04:12:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11200194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenkangaroo/pseuds/greenkangaroo
Summary: Akimichi Chouji fully expected to die in service to Konoha because that's what Akimichi do.The complication comes when hedoesn't.





	1. in which a bargain is struck (but not to the satisfaction of both parties)

Akimichi Chouji had always expected to die in battle. 

It was an expectation he shared with his father and brother, with every active duty uncle, aunt, cousin, second cousin, relation-by-marriage or friend who might as well be family within the Akimichi clan. Akimichi died in battle. They died saving comrades, they died opening paths of escape, they died in mass charges. As the sun rose in the east and set in the west, so was this true: to be an Akimichi ninja was to perish in defense of Konoha and all those within her walls. 

So great was this expectation, in fact, that Chouji had both a will written and a spot in the family cemetery picked out the day after he graduated from the Academy. He'd gone with his cousin Makaro, older than him by three years but still undecided on his own final resting place. 

Makaro had waffled a little and settled on a good view of the orchard. Chouji had picked a spot on a hill that let him face the river. 

The will was retouched once a year on or around Chouji's birthday- not to be macabre, it was just an easy date for him and the lawyers to remember. It used to be simple because he was a boy (though in all aspects of Konoha law an adult) and he didn't have much to bequeath or request. 

Now he'd survived a war and the will was a bit more complicated. 

Being crushed by a literal mountain on his chest and walled in on all sides by darkness and rock Chouji wondered how angry Shikamaru would be to find out that he'd asked for his best friend to scatter his ashes on the hill that faced the river. 

This was- unfortunate. Painful, but then Akimichi didn't die easy. Chouji consoled himself not with thoughts of rescue (because rescue rarely came) but with the fact that he and his team had efficiently emptied the great cavern-city of Shigamura before it could collapse. 

One dead Akimichi was better than thousands of souls perished. 

(Chouji knew Shikamaru and Ino would disagree but they were hardly in a position to argue with him.) 

Chouichi would be mad as hell that he had to be clan heir again but to be fair it had been his job in the first place. He'd do fine. 

Chouji took a trembling breath and tasted mostly rock dust. He could feel something shaking in the pit of his chest and he suspected his ribs-hardier than a normal person's- were finally beginning to cave (haha) under the pressure. 

He thought of his best friends far away and closed his eyes with a small, serene smile. 

"Be good, you two." He whispered into the dark. 

\---

The underground city-nation of Shigamura had been around for hundreds of years. Legend had it that it had been formed when Prince Shigamura picked up a mountain and moved it fifty miles northwest. A chunk fell out of the bottom, and this had formed the cavern. 

However true this story was or was not, the fact of the matter was that Shigamura was falling apart. Attempts had been made multiple times by Kumo, the nearest ninvillage, to convince the ruling council of the city that they should at least heavily consider bringing in some engineers to assess the growing damage. 

That had gone over about as well as the Raikage asking a Hyuuga to dinner for old times' sake. 

The newly minted Shinobi Alliance, still testing out their fragile bonds, had decided to take a crack at it when an independent political faction of Shigamura- calling themselves the Mountain Movers- sent a plea for one more try at diplomacy. Kumo, Iwa, Suna, and Kiri had all dispatched their most seasoned diplomats.

Konoha had sent Akimichi Chouji. 

Whether it was Kakashi's intention to ruffle some feathers or not, it couldn't be denied that up against the more senior diplomats the other ninvillages sent Chouji seemed…lacking. 

Then talking started. 

Talking, of course, turned to yelling, turned to heated talking, turned to fifteen minute breaks and through it all the fat ninja from Konoha said nothing. He only listened. 

On day three, in the middle of Mantis of Suna standing up about to call Roku of the Ruling Council an insufferable dunderhead or worse, Chouji said, "I understand." 

All heads had swiveled towards him and Chouji politely leaned forward and convinced the entire Ruling Council that they had to evacuate their doomed city. 

When the agreement was reached and the evacuation put into the planning stages Chouji neatened up his paperwork and continued listening. 

It took three weeks to arrange and by the time the first wave of reluctant evacuees headed for the cavern's mouth, leaving behind carved houses that had been in families for generations, parts of the great stone roof were creaking. 

One of the northern tunnels collapsed first and it took an entire street with it. What had before seemed far away was suddenly immediate and terrifying and it was all the allied diplomats and Shigamura's own police forces could do to keep the calm. 

Chouji had listened. 

"It's coming from the northwest now." He said to Kadaj of Iwa. "I'm going to slow it down." 

'How?" Akitsu of Kiri had demanded. 

Chouji had grinned. 

"By doing what I do best. Getting really, really big." 

Which was precisely what he did. 

Chouji Akimichi grew and he braced the far wall of the cavern and his very presence, large and protective, gentle and kind, was enough to help ease the worst fears.

The evacuation continued and the roof kept groaning and Chouji kept standing against it until finally he heard the wind-whisper sent by Mantis that they were out, they were all out, Konoha _get out of there-_

But you couldn't be a giant for so long without losing a lot of chakra and though Chouji's control was superb for a member of the Akimichi his reserves were not limitless. 

The roof came down, and so did Chouji. 

\---

 _Now this is a curious thing._

Chouji isn't sure what he's hearing. Mantis said everyone got out but the voice is cutting through the inevitable pain of his crushing ribcage, clear as if someone was standing beside him. Maybe he's hallucinating. Couldn't a brain do that, cause hallucinations to dull the fear and shock of death? 

If so this is a disappointing hallucination. It doesn't even sound like anyone he knows. 

_Are you afraid?_ the voice asks. 

-No.- Chouji says but does not say. He can't force air through his larynx, has possibly stopped breathing altogether. Hard to tell here in the dark. 

_I do believe you're telling the truth,_ the voice sounds astounded and if Chouji could manage it he would be indignant because he is an Akimichi and unless a mission calls for it he does not lie. 

_What if,_ the voice continues, _I could offer you life? And anything you ever wanted besides?_

Chouji thought about that. 

-I'll pass,- he says. 

_Really?_

-Yes.-

_Nothing?_

-Nothing important.- Chouji assures his mysterious conversationalist. 

_Then there is something._

-There's always something, but wanting is not the same as needing. -

 _Did you need to die here?_

-No,- Chouji admits, -but others are going to live, so all things being equal it's alright.- 

_You measure other lives against your own and don't pad the scale?_

-I don't need to pad anything and I don't want whatever it is you're offering,- Chouji says, because whether this is his mind's last attempt at saving him or something downright supernatural he's not about to agree to anything he can't see in writing and damn, he wishes Chicho could hear that thought because it would prove he learned something from all those hours of tutoring. - I'd like to die in peace, please.- 

_You're serious. You're fine with dying here so far from your home._

-It's okay to die helping others.- 

_Hardly seems convenient._

-Convenience has nothing to do with it. I'm an Akimichi. It's what we do.- 

_Leaving everything behind?_

-The world will go on without me.- 

_Maybe it would,_ the voice admits, _but I find I'm not inclined to let it._

The dull pain that the talk has soothed changes. It is sharper, it is thicker, and it is white-hot, focusing on Chouji's ribs. 

_I've waited a long time for someone like you. I hope you don't disappoint._

\---

Sakura Haruno could not believe her eyes or her medical charts. 

The man asleep on the bed in front of her was Chouji- her year mate, her comrade, and an integral part of the evacuation of Shigamura. A man who had been dug out of the rubble of that same cavern city with the expectation that when he was found he would be in pieces that would have to be shipped home in boxes. 

A man who had been lifted without a single broken bone from a hollow in the rock that he'd barely fit into. 

"This is unbelievable." Sakura said. "Akahana this is unbelievable." 

"You've said that three times, teacher." Akahana replied meekly. 

"that's because it fucking is." Sakura read the report again. An entire mountain had fallen on Chouji. He should have been pâté. 

Yet all he seemed to have for his troubles were a few dozen bruises, chakra exhaustion, and the scar. 

It was in the center of his sternum, exploding outward in a starlike burst. On a battlefield Sakura would assume it had come from an exploding tag but she knew Chouji bore no such wounds- wore heavy armor woven into the front of his clan gear for that exact reason. Tags had detonated inches from Akimichi Chouji and he'd wiped the soot from his eyes and pounded whoever threw them into dust. 

As if that wasn't enough all scars were strictly catalogued in medical reports, for the identification of bodies with facial features too disfigured to make out or in cases of body-doubles or attempted genjutsus. The scar on Chouji's chest was like pearl inlay, looked old enough to be included in his file. It wasn't. 

Of course the only person who knew in that moment that Chouji had definitely not gone to Shigamura with that scar on his body was one Haruno Sakura, Deputy Head of the Medical Core. 

Sakura looked at the report again and then at Chouji. He was regaining color nicely; he'd wake up soon.

She closed the report. "It's really amazing he made it," she said to her student, and said nothing about the scar. 

\---

When Chouji opened his eyes and wasn't dead, he was very surprised. 

When he saw Sakura sitting by his bedside, he was even more surprised. 

When she held a mirror out over his chest without a word, his eye went wide as coins. 

"What the fuck is that?!" he asked. 

Sakura's sigh was deep. "I was hoping you could tell me," she said, and the two comrades of the Konoha Eleven sat in the quiet night in the base camp established outside of the ruins of Shigamura in completely astounded silence.


	2. in which an aburame has her doubts and a best friend is only slightly mollified

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Akahana's kikai are never wrong and Shikamaru has Thoughts.

Aburame Akahana had never been on a humanitarian away mission. Before the Fourth War it had been rare for Konoha's medical core to ever dispatch to other countries. When her teacher had come to her and said to pack her things Akahana had obeyed without question, because you didn't argue with Sakura-sensei when she had that look in her eyes. With a full platoon of other medical ninja she had hastily received the blessings of the Hokage and left her village behind. 

It wasn't until the first rest break that Akahana had learned where they were going and why. Something terrible had happened in the Land of Lightning, and the city of Shigamura needed as much help as it could get. 

Even the most stoic of the platoon had let out an audible gasp when they came at last over the crest of a hill and saw what remained of Shigamura. Where once a mountain had opened at its base into a great cavern with proud red gates, now only the shell stood, all the rock fallen into the middle like a cake that had been baked without any rising agents. 

Akahana had assumed that the carnage would be massive, but that wasn't so. The losses were minimal due in large part to a well executed (if hasty) evacuation and to the quick actions of one of Konoha's own. 

Somewhere in that rubble was the corpse of Akimichi Chouji. 

It was Akahana's kikai, helping with the recovery efforts, that had found Chouji- and she had ben stunned as anyone else when her bugs insisted with their tightly spiraling flight patterns that there was a live man under the rock. 

"Akimichi?" She asked, and expected them to make the short pattern of a butterfly's flight as they had been trained. 

No, her insects insisted. No, no. Something else. 

"Something else?" 

Something else. 

Yet when the digging crews finished their work where Akahana pointed, what they found was indeed clearly Chouji- very dirty, breath shallow and arms crossed on his chest in the defensive maneuver Akahana had seen Douma-sensei use in their hands free combat sessions time and again. His gauntlets had cracked under the weight of the rubble.

Akahana looked to her bugs but they had nothing to offer her. 

"Akimichi?" She asked again as a reinforced stretcher was brought and Sakura-sensei barked out orders. 

Yes. No. Maybe? 

Akahana's kikai were retrieval trained. They did not make mistakes. 

She looked at Sakura-sensei, watched Chouji taken away to the field hospital, and said nothing. 

\---

 

A week after his waking, Haruno Sakura told Akimichi Chouji that he was the vision of health and ready to be released from her care. There was just the infinitesimally small insignificant really matter of- 

"As far as I can tell," Sakura said to Chouji as she put her instruments away, "it's just what it looks like. Scar tissue." 

Chouji pulled his shirt back on. "I've never taken a hit that bad there, Sakura," He said. "Not once." 

"I know." Sakura read his file again. "This is beyond me, Chouji. As soon as we're done here I'm writing to Tsunade-sensei." 

"And say what?" Chouji asked. "that a mountain fell on me and I grew a scar?" 

"Pretty much. I don't see what other option we have. It's not a malignant growth, it's not negatively impacting your ability to breathe and your muscles don't show any signs of weakening. It's like-" Sakura put her clipboard down. "Like you picked up someone else's scar tissue." 

Chouji blinked. "That's not possible, right?"

"Of course it's not!" Sakura said. 

Chouji held up both hands. "You never know." He defended. 

"Point." Sakura acknowledged. She sighed. "If this is the weirdest thing I have to deal with on this assignment it will be a blessing. We've got so many broken bones amongst the citizens I've had to call for backup from Suna, too." 

"I'm sorry." Chouji said.

"For what?" 

"If I-" 

Sakura glared at him and Chouji shut his mouth. 

"If you apologize for people being stupid and falling over one another while escaping a cave you were holding up with brute strength and a prayer, I am going to beat you with my clipboard." She said sweetly. "and I asked for a reinforced one. So I CAN beat people with it." 

"Okay okay!" Chouji said, getting off the examination bed. Sakura smiled. 

"You're too sweet, Chouji." She said. "Go on, you'd better get an actual meal in and then some real rest. Shikamaru's gonna be here tomorrow." 

Chouji sighed deeply. "Is he?" 

"The words he used were 'troublesome' and 'stupid' and also 'troublesome' with your name interspersed between." Sakura said. "He threatened to bring Ino but she's still in Rain with Tenten." 

Chouji chuckled. "At least I didn't rank being a total drag." 

"I think that was what he was getting to before Kakashi sen-Sixth kicked him off the line." Sakura said. 

Chouji smiled at Sakura's stumble. "Is it weird?" He asked gently. 

"Really weird." Sakura admitted. "Mainly because he doesn't want the job, you know?" She neatened her notes. "He's only taking it because Naruto's not ready. If he had his way he'd lock himself in his apartment forever, or- I don't know read those smut books of his." 

"Which is exactly why Kakashi is Sixth now." Chouji said. "Can't be reading Icha Icha all the time with all that paperwork."

Sakura's smile was small but it was there. "You're right. I bet he's miserable. I bet Naruto's sending him teaser paragraphs and making him stew." 

"If he isn't, he should be." Chouji said. 

"I'll be sure to suggest it over the next call." Sakura said. "You're cleared for now, Chouji." 

"Thank you, Doctor." Chouji said with a half-bow that had Sakura snorting and waving him away. 

When he opened the door there was a young woman standing there, hand raised as if she were about to knock. Her big white coat and darkly tinted glasses said Aburame, though the soft pastel red of her hair was not clan-typical. Which meant that this had to be Shino's younger cousin-

"Hello!" He said. "Akahana, right?" 

He couldn't see that she was blinking at him, but he was fairly certain she was. 

"Akimichi?" She asked. 

Chouji was about to respond when he saw a kikai flit past Akahana's ear and begin dancing in front of her, the loop-de-loop pattern which the bugs used to mark his clan. 

The girl looked to the insect and then to him. "Is Sakura-sensei in?" 

"I'm here, Akahana." Sakura called. "Have they finished up with the resupply?" 

"Yes, sensei." Akahana said. Chouji was used to being spoken around but he moved sideways anyway so that teacher and student could see one another. 

"Did they see sense?" 

"They did, Sensei." 

"Good. I didn't want to have to break anything around here more than it was already broken." Sakura came up beside Chouji and gave him a stern look. "If I hear you're lifting rocks before tomorrow afternoon there will be trouble. Now go on." 

"Yes Ma'm." Chouji said, and left teacher and student. Akahana watched him go.

"Something wrong, Akahana?" Sakura asked. 

The girl shook her head. 

"Good. Now that we've handled resupply, I'm going to teach you how to make grown bureaucrats pee their pants."

"I would enjoy that, Sensei." 

"I know. Let's go." 

\---

Chouji dreamed of mountains that night and when he returned from breakfast the next morning he found Douma waiting outside his tent. The other Akimichi pushed his glasses up with his thumb and gave Chouji The Look. 

"A moth jutsu on your tent?" Douma asked. "Really?" 

Chouji smiled at him. "Can't fault a man for trying?" He offered. "People get weird when you should have died but didn't." 

Between the field hospital and the mess hall the night before he'd been stopped no less than ten times by people who recognized him (or at least thought they did, though they recollected him as being much larger) and started thanking him profusely. Others had expressed their amazement that he was still breathing. 

Chouji had dealt with them all as best he could but it had gotten uncomfortable right around the time a woman asked if she could name her as-yet unborn child after him. That had been less than fifteen minutes before. 

"After the ordeal you just went through wasting chakra on a genjutsu like that is irresponsible." Douma said. 

"You know this is why people say Touma is the fun twin." Chouji pointed out. Douma rolled his eyes and grabbed Chouji in a crushing hug. Chouji hugged back. 

"Not a good day to die?" Douma murmured. 

"Every day is a good day to die," Chouji responded when they parted. 

"Good for you it wasn't. If you had died Chouichi would have killed you again." Douma said. 

"He'd have gotten over it." Chouji said. 

"That's what you think." Douma said. "They've sent a request to Konoha. Shigamura's Council wants to rebuild and that's a lot of rock to move- Makaro's gonna be here tomorrow with a squad." 

"Is anything even stable?" Chouji asked. "That can't be safe." 

"Well see they wanted to talk to you about that." Douma said. 

"What would I know about it?" Chouji asked. 

"Seems someone on the Council thinks being buried might have given you a unique perspective?" Douma asked. Chouji stared. "Don't worry Haruno-san told them to go piss up a rope." 

Chouji felt an immense surge of gratitude towards Sakura which immediately dissipated when Douma added, "She also told Shikamaru where your tent was. And speak of the devil…" 

Chouji looked where Douma had glanced and took a long, deep breath. 

Shikamaru's eyes were like obsidian chips and while his hands were clasped behind him Chouji had years of experience in detecting the tenseness of his shoulders. As was fitting the Advisor to the Hokage he had two ANBU bodyguards with him- overkill but Kakashi had made it his prerogative to revamp the ANBU program. Bodyguard duty in a disaster zone was probably as tame a mission as he could convince these two to try. 

Douma smacked Chouji on the shoulder. "Well, I'm off to see a man about a broken pelvis. Have fun debriefing!" 

"Traitor," Chouji said to Douma's retreating back. He turned to Shikamaru whose gaze flitted over him, looking for injuries Chouji may have fibbed about or hidden. 

"I can explain?" Chouji offered. 

He could almost hear the ANBU on the right snorting. 

\---

To say Shikamaru was unhappy with Chouji's chosen method of aiding the Shigamura evacuation was like saying the previous Ninja War had just been one big unfortunate misunderstanding. 

An understatement of massive proportions. 

Thankfully, Shikamaru was a Nara and more importantly was himself and so no one save Chouji could see how angry- how scared- he really was. 

After the official radio debriefing- during which the Sixth Hokage congratulated Chouji for having the devil's own luck- he followed his friend to the nearest pile of rubble that closely resembled their cloud gazing hill back home. 

"What the hell were you thinking?" Shikamaru asked. 

"That if the roof fell in before we emptied the city thousands of people were going to die and that was exactly what I was sent here to prevent." Chouji replied. 

"The loss rate wouldn't have been that high," Shikamaru contested but Chouji knew he'd hit the right button. Shikamaru was too smart and too many people depended on him. Given the same mission, having the same abilities, he would have done exactly the same thing. 

"Maybe it wouldn't have been but this was the best outcome, wasn't it?" Chouji asked as he wiggled on a piece of rock. The sound of a few pebbles falling made him nervous; Sakura had already suggested a full round of therapy. Apparently he'd been buried for over ten hours. 

Who knew? 

"The best outcome isn't me hearing rolling reports that tell me my best friend is dead." Shikamaru muttered. There was darkness in his eyes and his fingers twitched for the cigarettes he'd quit before the war began. Chouji reached over and tugged on Shikamaru's shoulder. 

The Nara leaned bonelessly on him and sighed.

"You're too quick to throw your life away, Chouji." He murmured. 

Chouji looked out over the hollow bowl that had once been Shigamura, and the shell of the mountain that remained standing- the only bit that hadn't fallen on him. The removed people of the city remained in their tents while the ruling council debated on what to do. 

"Maybe," Chouji conceded, "but I lived." 

Shikamaru shifted against him and Chouji read in that shift, _Yes you did, but next time you might not. Don't make me go through that again._

_Not so soon._

Chouji thought about this unspoken request he knew he couldn't honor decided not to mention his shiny new scar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are going to be OCs. Y'all had best get used to it.


	3. in which diplomats diplomate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in the aftermath of the collapse, there's lots of questions and no easy answers.

Of the five diplomats that had been sent to Shigamura, Chouji had been the youngest. The next step up from him had been Kiri's contribution, one Suikazan Akitsu by name. Akitsu was two years older than Chouji and probably seven times more aggressive, which wasn't exactly a trait one looked for in a diplomat or negotiator. 

Akitsu, though, had something else going for him. 

Akitsu could talk anyone into _anything._

It was something the other diplomats had grudgingly admired him for. Before Chouji's pointed injection, Akitsu was arguably the only member of the impromptu Team Shigamura that was making any kind of headway at all. He was also young enough that he wasn't a member of the generation that had become walking representations of Bloody Mist. 

Chouji had suspected that if any of the diplomats found him after his release it would be Akitsu, with whom he had begun to develop a strange, almost friendly rapport. Where Chouji was rounded Akitsu was rough and where Akitsu couldn't find the words Chouji could. They had tag-teamed more than once during the three week evacuation setup. 

It helped that Akitsu was a Suikazan, and Chouji was an Akimichi, and in the right light and if you looked back far enough on either family tree...

Of course you didn't share that opinion at Sunday dinner in either Clan. 

Akitsu did not let Chouji down. The other ninja cornered him the morning after he'd soothed the savage Shikamaru, on his way out from breakfast with his friend. 

"I see you're not dead, cousin." Akitsu greeted Chouji, who smiled sunnily at him and said "Don't let any of my actual cousins hear you say that." 

"I noticed a sudden influx in huge dudes with seals on their cheeks," Akitsu agreed, being also a huge dude with seals on his cheeks talking to another huge dude with seals on his cheeks. "Were they ready to go or what?" 

"The clan has squads trained in disaster cleanup," Chouji said. "It comes in handy." 

"What a surprise. I think I might have a heart attack and die from that surprise." Akitsu said. "So do you bake cookies when you're done throwing rubble?" 

"That's what we brought Touma for." Chouji replied. "What's up?" 

"What's up is you aren't dead so there's meetings. Lots of meetings. Starting like now." 

Chouji winced. "Are you sure I can't pretend to be dead?" What he'd been hearing mostly involved rebuilding, which meant funding and organizing and probably more deadlocked debates between the Shigamura Council and the forward relief. He was trained extensively in all of those things, because someday he would be sixteenth head of the Akimichi and you had to be ready to keep the Yamanaka from ruffling the Hyuuga while the Nara thought too slowly and the Inuzuka threatened to piss on ancient Sarutobi burial grounds if they couldn't come to a decent agreement. 

(Inuzuka Tsume had confirmed that story for Chouji once. He'd been unable to look Asuma in the face for a full week.) 

Akitsu shook his head. "I don't think so, Konoha." He said. "There's people muttering about you being a second coming. If I was you I'd hide in meetings for as long as possible." 

"Second coming of what?" Chouji asked in dismay. Akitsu shrugged. "Hell if I know. Losing their home's probably knocked some stuff loose around here and I don't just mean the boulders. Come on if I don't bring you they're gonna send that creepy Sand chick." 

"Mantis is not creepy she's a puppeteer." 

"Aren't they the same thing?" 

Chouji sighed. "How did you ever convince The Mizukage to let you come on this mission?" 

Akitsu grinned his sharp toothed grin. "I bake some killer cookies." 

\---

HQ was not a tent. Like the field hospital it was a wooden building, the brainchild of Tenten and Yamato, sealed in a scroll to be summoned when shelters were needed. Akitsu led Chouji around the back and they slipped into the preparation room, where those about to enter meetings would set themselves and their work in order. The other diplomats were already seated. 

"There you are," Mantis said with a quick nod of her head. "I'm glad to see you well, Konoha." 

"Glad? I'm amazed." That was Kumo's Saji, a tall calm woman with long white hair. Chouji suspected she was related to the Raikage's assistant Mabui, whom he had met once or twice during the war. "I'd heard your clan was hearty, Akimichi, but this is truly a miracle." 

"You can say that again." That came from Kadaj of Iwa, a slender man with a heavily lined face. He looked more troubled than usual. 

"As my Hokage said, sometimes luck can be considered a skill." Chouji said. "I'm as amazed as you are." He sat down with Akitsu. 

"So, can a fellow who's been sleeping too much get a fill in?" Chouji asked. "We're looking at a hell of a mess." 

"That's putting it mildly." Saji said. "The Council is set on rebuilding." 

"It's barely feasible but mostly foolish." Kadaj said as he shuffled some papers. As a representative of Iwa's digging ninja he had been in a unique position from the start to judge the damage to Shigamura. "The problem is that once you excavate all that rock, you're talking about all the tunnels they built beneath, too. Even if the excavation is eighty percent successful-" 

And they were off. Each of the diplomats shared what had happened while Chouji was in med. Akitsu finished with a full report on the water supply of Shigamura and the inevitable pollution due to the destruction. 

"So they're going to want to build again," Chouji said, "but the cost might not be worth it at all." 

"The Shigamurans are a stubborn lot." Mantis agreed. "Tradition means the world to them. Consider how long they allowed only cosmetic rockwork."

"Tradition can't prop up costs like this." Kadaj argued. "Even with the help of the whole Ninja Alliance, we're looking at thousands of people displaced for well over three or more years. Possibly permanently if the rebuild goes south and it will." 

"There hasn't been a diaspora like that since the Warring States period." Saji said. "The Land of Lightning has no setup for this. The Damiyo's disaster releif is meant for wars and earthquakes, not localized mountain collapses." 

"Is there any thing the Raikage can do with the current provisions?" Chouji asked. 

Saji nodded but looked doubtful. "Lord Raikage will do what he can, but if any Shigamurans want to leave they'd be at the mercy of the other nations." 

"The Land of Wind has very strict refugee laws." Mantis said. "I understand the Land of Fire's rules are a bit more lax?" 

Chouji nodded. "They are, but they do exist and with Shigamura officially being a nation of the Land of Lightning, you're looking at a lot of red tape." 

"Ain't nobody gonna want to travel all the way to the Land of Waves," Akitsu said, "but there's pretty much no regulation regarding who can come and who can go."

"All of this is moot unless we can convince the Council of Shigamura that abandoning the mountain is their best option." Mantis said. 

"but is it?" Akitsu asked. 

Everyone sighed. 

"You know," Kadaj said, "I almost preferred the wars. They never seemed this complicated." 

"Only from one viewpoint." Saji said. "It's time. Let's go." 

\---

The meetings dragged on all morning. With Shikamaru there and other higher-ranking members of the Ninja Alliance converging, Chouji was more than happy to run interference while everyone politely argued over just how stupid it was to try and dig a deeper hole in a collapsed mountain to put a city back where it had been. 

Occasionally a medic passing by would pull Chouji aside and ask him how he was. Chouji let them, knowing that they likely reported directly to Sakura and had more to fear from her if they didn't do their duty than from him for the constant interruptions. 

At one break Shikamaru sat down, patted his chest for a pack of cigarettes he didn't carry anymore, and said, "How do you have the patience for this?" 

Chouji replied, "The Akimichi breed for patience and appetite." 

Shikamaru snorted but he smiled so Chouji grinned back. 

During the second full half of the meetings there came an interruption in the form of Aburame Akahana, who had spent the day with the digging teams working under the direction of what remained of Shigamura's Guild of Engineers and its rebellious offshoot the Mountain Movers. 

"We've found something." She said, and Chouji felt the weight of a mountain on his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you're gonna be troublesome, aren't you, Akahana?


	4. in which there are suspicious resemblances

Kadaj knew rock. 

He knew it intimately. He had been born in the bottom of a mineshaft and he'd only gone back up because he'd been an infant and therefore unable to make demands on his own personal time. He was not the strongest ninja in Iwakagure but when it came to stone- how it spoke, how it moved, how to move it without losing lives- he was the best. 

Looking at the ruins of Shigamura turned Kadaj's stomach now even more than the city had when it stood. He'd walked into those red gates and felt like a rat wandering a tunnel full of old corpses and traps. There was danger there, and no one could see it but him, it seemed. 

They had spent too long arguing and too long planning. The end result was miraculously good as far as soft targets went, but despite the best arguments made by the Council there would be no revival of Shigamura. Any city they tried to build on the bones of the old wouldn't stand very long. 

Kadaj knew this, as he knew something else. 

Chouji of Konoha should not have survived. 

He got a good look at the area once the big ninja had been removed. He listened to the engineers and rescue workers talk and he put his palm on the rocks. He looked and he looked and the more Kadaj of Iwa looked the more he saw what no one else seemed to- the angle of the broken stone, the depth of the hole, the striations of stress and the unevenness of the underlying bedrock. The mountain had crushed Akimichi Chouji. 

Only it didn't. 

Kadaj of Iwa knew rock. He knew that it took life mercilessly and without regard. 

He knew it should have taken Chouji. 

What he didn't know was how it had failed. 

\---

Akimoto Fubuki was waiting for Akahana, and the small contingent of leaders she brought with her. 

"Sir," Fubuki said to Oda Hatsuo, head of the Council of Shigamura. He gave her a considering look before nodding. As the leader of the Mountain Movers, Fubuki had been a thorn in his side. Now that all she and her fellow rogue engineers had predicted had come to pass it seemed trivial to continue antagonizing her. "We found a pocket that hasn't been destroyed. If it's viable it could be a valuable entry point for lower excavation." 

"How deep?" Kadaj asked. 

"Deep." Fubuki said to the other man. "Very deep." 

"Is it safe?" another member of the council asked. 

"As best as we can tell, it's stable," Fubuki said, "but it would be wisest not to take so many people down." 

There were a few moments of tense discussion before a group was agreed upon- Hatsuo, Fubuki, Shikamaru, Kadaj, and the newly arrived Sakura. 

"If anything falls on you," she murmured to Shikamaru, "I'll punch it to pieces, okay?" 

Shikamaru grimly nodded and the group of five followed Fubuki's lead into the rubble. 

Sure enough the diggers had uncovered what looked like a set of stairs leading down into the dark. 

"Gas?" Kadaj asked. Fubuki shook her head as she passed out lanterns. "All tests came up negative," she said, "but I'd appreciate you at the front with me just in case." 

Kadaj agreed and into the dark they went. 

It was tense and eerie. The digging team had placed lanterns at each landing and it felt like there were hundreds of them, though in reality there were probably only about ten before they reached the bottom. 

"It's freezing down here." Sakura murmured. 

"This deep in the earth there is no sunlight." Kadaj said. "Is that a door?" 

Fubuki nodded. "We've already opened it, but-" she turned to Hatsuo. "I didn't let anyone else in, sir, once I got my head in." 

Hatsuo rose a snowy brow. In response, Fubuki pushed a big stone button that had been carved into the wall. 

the rounded stone door rolled away. 

Fubuki rose her lantern and the group leaned forward.

It was a circular room with no obvious entryways or exits aside from the one they had just opened. There were murals on the walls, mosaics done in the traditional style of Shigamura with semiprecious stones deemed worthless for fine jewelry or ornamentation. Along the walls were trunks, probably full of needed items for the afterlife because in the center of the room a single stalactite narrowed down a point over a stone table where lay a perfectly preserved- 

"That's a body." Kadaj said. 

Hatsuo's breath came sharp and quick. 

"We lost it." He said. 

"We found it." Fubuki said. 

"Found what?" Sakura asked as Hatsuo carefully stepped into the room, holding his lantern up to better illuminate the area. 

"Prince Shigamura," Hatsuo said with worshipful reverence. "The Mountain Mover." 

Sakura eyed the mummy on the table. "Is it just me," she murmured softly to Shikamaru as they entered, "or does that look a lot like-" 

\---

"Chouji!" 

Chouji, sitting outside his tent, looked up from his paperwork. "Makaro!" 

"I hear a mountain fell on you," Makaro said with a broad grin. "You look okay, though." 

"Well you know mountains. They don't make 'em like they used to." Chouji hugged his cousin. "How is it going?" 

"Not badly. This is really firm rock, so it's been mostly chain work. I've got Douma cutting apart the big boulders when he has a moment just so we can get them the hell out." Makaro's face went dark. "they want to rebuild all of this?" 

"That's what they say." Chouji said. 

"Call me crazy but that seems like a really bad idea." Makaro said. 

"You're not wrong," Chouji acknowledged. 

"Where is everyone?" Makaro looked around. "I came to give Shikamaru a report, but…" 

"There was a recess called. The bigwigs went with some of the diggers. They found something they wanted the Council to look at." 

"And you didn't ride along?" Makaro asked. 

"The only place I'm a bigwig is Konoha, Cousin. And trust me, one tenure underground is enough for me." Chouji said. 

"I just bet." Makaro replied. "Well, you're out of sight of Haruno-san. Wanna help punch some rocks?" 

"Rock punching might be just the thing." Chouji said. "You mind if I bring a friend?" 

"Depends, does your friend cook?" 

"He claims he makes cookies but more important he's got a water drill jutsu." 

"That mist nin? Looked like a Suikazan." 

"That's his story and he's sticking to it." 

"Well hell bring him along who knows how long the honchos are gonna be underground doing who knows what." 

At the sudden flicker of a shadow across Chouji's face Makaro put his hand on his cousin's shoulder. "Trust me, Chouji, those Mountain Movers know what they're doing. Shikamaru's gonna be perfectly safe." 

"He'd better be." Chouji muttered. "I didn't nearly get squashed to save a city population to not be there to save my friend." 

\---

"The temperature control in this room is exquisite." Kadaj murmured as the group surrounded the mummy on the table. "I've never seen anything like it." 

"This is the founder of your city?" Shikamaru asked Fubuki, unable to look right at the body. Sakura couldn't blame him. The corpse belonged to a big man with a lot of dark brown hair, some of which was still firmly attached to his head. Sakura thought if she squinted she could see seals on the body's cheeks- three swoops on either side. 

In life, maybe they were red. 

"We knew he had a final resting place somewhere under the city," Fubuki said as Hatsuo bowed his head in prayer, "but the location to the tomb was lost. The Guild of Engineers has been trying to find it for years." 

"Hidden behind a carved out wall?" Kadaj asked. Fubuki nodded. "That seems to be the case-opened up in the collapse." 

"His armor's open." Sakura murmured, leaning forward. She almost reached out to touch but hesitated, eyes wide. 

Shigamura's armor was indeed open, and the stalactite on the ceiling pointed directly at his chest. A hole was worn there from years of water dripping down the rock formation, boring finely through the center of a starbust of scar tissue that shone a soft pearl under the light of their lanterns. 

"Sakura?" Shikamaru asked. 

"We need to get back up." Sakura said. "Now." 

\---

"This is way more fun than I thought it would be." Akitsu said to Chouji as he drew back his water drill. Chouji grinned at him. "Not a lot of chances to smash rocks in Kiri?" 

"We're next to the ocean, the water does all the smashing for us." Akitsu said. "And-" 

"LOOK OUT BELOW!" 

The bellow was accompanied by a huge hand reaching out to grab at a good sized rock that had fallen loose. It missed and a flurry of curses issued forth as the small boulder continued to roll towards Chouji and Akitsu, gaining momentum. 

"I got it," Chouji assured Akitsu as he planted his legs. "Shove off." 

Akitsu did as he was told and Chouji prepared to grab the rock and bear hug it to pieces. 

_-Seems like a lot of work.-_

The whispering thought came out of nowhere, as did the massive blue chakra hand that oozed from Chouji's back and wrapped around the boulder. 

It squeezed and the rock was not shattered. It was dusted. 

_-Much better.-_

The hand oozed back and Chouji stared at the fine pile of dust. 

Akitsu was staring at him. 

"What the fuck was that?" He asked. 

Chouji looked at him, eyes wide and haunted. 

"I don't know." He said. "I don't-" he looked at his hands. That kind of chakra manifestation was like his wings- which meant he should have lost upwards of sixty pounds in the exertion. 

Yet he was the same size as always. 

"Chouji?!" Touma came leaping down the rock pile. "Chouji what happened?" 

"He doesn't know," Akitsu said. "Do chakra hands run in your family?" 

"Chakra what?" Touma asked. "What are you even talking about?" 

\---

Sakura burst from the hole in the earth, Shikamaru on her heels. Akahana stood. "Sensei-" 

"Where is Chouji?" she demanded. Akahana made a gesture and one of her kikai appeared, dancing out directions. 

"Helping with the excavation." Akahana said. "That way." 

Sakura took off and it was all Shikamaru could do to keep up with her, leaving a bewildered Kadaj, Fubuki, and Hatsuo to emerge. 

"Chouji?" She barked at the first Akimichi she saw, who pointed on. Sakura took a sharp left and came upon the dust of the boulder, Akitsu, Touma, and Chouji. 

Who was still staring wide-eyed at his hands. 

"Chouji!" 

At her voice he jerked up like a startled horse. "Sakura-"

"Chouji I need to take you into protective custody, now." Sakura said. 

Touma's eyebrows rocketed up to his hairline. "Haruno-san, what the ever loving-" 

"We have a situation," Sakura said grimly. Shikamaru beside her looked from his best friend to Sakura was sharp and calculating eyes. "and until I can get someone from T&I here-" 

"T&I?" Touma said. "Look, lady, I don't know what the hell you're thinking-" 

Sakura crossed the ground between herself and Chouji and grabbed the front of his armor. Chouji had just enough time to give her a bewildered look before she pulled, opening the hidden zipper and showing Shikamaru the starburst of scar. 

"That's new." Shikamaru said stupidly. 

"It wasn't there before the mountain fell." Sakura said. "Chouji?" 

He looked at her. 

"Are you alright?" She asked gently. 

Chouji looked at the dust pile, which had started to move about in the gentle breeze. 

"No," he said, "no, I don't think I am." 

Then his eyes rolled back in his head and Sakura caught him as he fell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Troublesome.


	5. in which the P word is used

An unconscious Chouji was about as easy to move as one of Shigamura's many boulders, but Sakura shrugged off Akitsu and Touma's offers of help. 

"I got it," she said, and with the right application of chakra she did. "Shikamaru?" 

"Yes?" 

"I'm sorry I interrupted. Go on and be a leader. And tell Akahana to meet me at the field hospital." Sakura's eyes narrowed. "She's been acting squirrely ever since I released Chouji and I think I know why." 

Shikamaru looked between his unconscious friend and Sakura. "T&I?" He asked softly. 

"I need someone who can read minds and Ino's gotta be on her way back from Rain." Sakura said. "I'll get on the radio, see if I can intercept her." she loaded Chouji onto a stretcher. "I should have contacted her when Chouji woke up." 

"Ino might not be the best choice," Shikamaru said, "she knows Chouji too well." 

"That's why she is the best choice." Sakura said. "If what's going is what I think is going on, then we're gonna need someone who knows Chouji as well as you two do." She nodded to the two waiting medicninja who lifted Chouji up and carried him towards the hospital. 

"What do you think is going on, Sakura?" Shikamaru asked. Sakura saw the other Shikamaru in those words- the frightened Shikamaru, the young man with too much on his shoulders, the chunin who had thought he'd sent his best friend to die. The Advisor to the Hokage who had gotten word that a mountain had collapsed, and that his Gold General was somewhere underneath it. 

"Until I'm certain, I can't say," she said, "but I promise you I'll get to the bottom of it. Good enough?" 

Shikamaru nodded. "Good enough." 

It had to be. 

\---

Hatsuo, Fubuki, and Kadaj were understandably confused. Shikamaru did his best to soothe their rattled nerves but wasn't able to tell them very much. 

"The condition of your Founder reminded Sakura of a problem with Chouji," he said, and left it at that. 

It was a bit more complicated back at the field hospital, because Akitsu had made it inside despite the partial quarantine Sakura had enforced on Chouji's room the moment she had him in one. 

"How the hell?" Sakura demanded at Chouji's bedside. Akitsu shrugged. "I'm a fast talker." He said. "Look, before you showed up something happened and Chubs over there was clearly rattled. I was the only one who saw it- his cousin turned up later. I'm gonna say two and two make four, doctor." 

"While that might be so-" Sakura was interrupted by a knock on the door. "What?" 

"It's me, Sensei." Akahana called out. 

"Oh good. Get in here." 

Akahana slid into the room and spared a glance at Akitsu before she stood at attention. 

"Akahana," Sakura said, "you told me you had concerns about Chouji." 

Akahana nodded. 

"I didn't give you time to voice them." Sakura said. "That's my failure. As your teacher, I apologize to you. Right now, I need to know what those concerns are." 

Akahana laced her fingers together. "My kikai found Akimichi-san first," She said. "and my kikai are well trained." 

"They are." Sakura acknowledged. 

"When I asked who they had found, they did the wrong dance." Akahana said. 

Sakura's pink eyebrows skyrocketed to her hairline. "The wrong one?" 

Akahana nodded. "They didn't do the butterfly pattern. They performed the unknown chakra pattern." 

"Which is why when I released him you asked them for confirmation." Sakura said. She'd wondered what Akahana had been doing but with all the work that had to be done she'd let it slip from her mind. Damn it. 

Akahana nodded. "At that time, Sensei, they performed the butterfly pattern." 

"What about now?" Sakura asked. 

In response Akahana rose her arms and a small cloud of her scarlet beetles came forth. They buzzed about Chouji's head and rising up, performed the butterfly dance. 

Sakura sighed. "So it's only happened one time." She murmured. "we might be in the clear." 

"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Akitsu said. 

"I forgot about you." Sakura said suddenly. "How did I forget?" 

Akitsu's smile was slow and sharp. "I have my ways, Doctor."

"Look, I don't have time for any of your mystic misty mumbo-jumbo so tell me what you're doing in here or I'm gonna get you out." Sakura's smile was perfectly kind but it showed a few too many teeth. Akitsu shrugged carelessly, though he did keep an eye on Sakura as he said, "A rock got loose and Akimichi was going to crush it in a bear hug."

"I take it that's not what happened," Sakura said, realization dawning. 

"Not even remotely," Akitsu said. "He formed a chakra hand and arm out of his back and that's what grabbed the boulder." 

"I'm sorry did you say a hand?" Sakura asked. 

Akitsu nodded. "Not fully human either. sort of deformed- noodle arm, oversized palm and claw fingers. But here's the kicker. When it grabbed the boulder, it didn't smash it. It practically vaporized it. It was chakra compression like I've never seen before." 

Sakura looked at Chouji. "You said it formed out of his back?" 

Akitsu nodded. "Just under his shoulder blade." 

"Impossible," Sakura murmured. Chouji didn't look a pound lighter. 

Sakura had seen Chouji after a full volley of butterfly bullet bombing, witnessed the change a forty eight hour full body baika could render. It was dramatic and, if one wasn't an Akimichi, downright dangerous. 

The Akimichi were as a whole a clan of endomorphic body types, gaining and storing the fat they transformed into extra chakra with ease. Their clan techniques were in that way almost a bloodline limit- the average mesomorph or ectomorph could learn, but would die in execution, their bodies burning up what little fat reserves they had to maintain the jutsus. 

There was no way Chouji had formed a chakra hand without reaching into his fat reserves. Chouji's chakra coils were big- comparable, in fact, to Naruto or Gaara in sheer size- but without a tailed beast he relied on his fats as backup. 

Sakura could hear Tsunade over her shoulder as she said aloud. "When you've eliminated the possible whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." 

If Chouji hadn't knowingly reached into his own chakra to create the hand- a skill Sakura was certain he had never developed, as he tended to draw off his 'wings'- then he had to have been pulling from something else. 

She gave Akitsu a long and considering look. "You're a Suikazan, right?" 

"Plain as the chubby cheeks on my face, huh?" Akitsu asked. 

"Akahana." Sakura said to her student. "Please escort Suikazan-san outside. I need to go to the radio room." She stood. "You've been very helpful," she said to Akitsu. 

"Hate to leave a cousin in the lurch." He said with another grin. That grin reminded Sakura of Kiba- fake confidence hiding very real concern. 

She fought the urge to smile. Kakashi had been right to send Chouji to Shigamura, regardless of how this mess turned out. "As soon as we know more, I'll find you." She said to him. 

"I hope you figure it out faster than the refugees." Akitsu said to her. "They've been saying some pretty weird stuff." 

Sakura looked at Akahana, who nodded. the young Aburame would do her best to bring her teacher examples of 'pretty weird stuff'. 

They left and Sakura made quick check of Chouji's vitals. 

All steady, all there. Like Chouji himself- solid and unchanging. 

With a little luck, he would stay that way. 

\---

Yamanaka Ino's stamina was not the best of her generation, but neither was it the worst. She had long ago learned to surpass her limits on a battlefield that seemed to have no end, the single thread holding thousands of minds in place. When Ino wanted something, she made it happen come hell or high water. 

It didn't surprise Sakura or Shikamaru, then, when Ino showed up in the early hours of the morning two days after Chouji passed out. Ino didn't even pretend to be holding it together- her legs were trembling and she was streaked with sweat and dirt- but she leaned herself against the nearest wall and gave Shikamaru and Sakura the proper salute a professional interrogator would give the Advisor to the Hokage and the Deputy Head Medic. 

This professionalism was gone when she straightened up and asked, "What happened?" in a tone that insinuated that if she didn't like the answer she was going to open someone's brain and scoop it out with a grapefruit spoon. 

"You're resting first." Sakura said. 

"The hell I am you-" 

Sakura didn't give Ino a chance to respond. She stepped forward and punched her best friend in the stomach. Ino gagged, coughed, and went down. 

Shikamaru sighed. "You could have slipped something into her tea," he said as Sakura shouldered the other woman. 

"She'd have noticed and evaded it," Sakura said. "Come on. We'll put her in with Chouji." 

Chouji was reading when they walked in, brow furrowed and broad hand over his mouth to hide his lips moving along with the words, a hangover habit from his academy days that he couldn't seem to shake. When he looked up his gaze went soft and exasperated. "Sakura, did you have to?" 

"Yes." Sakura said curtly. She flopped Ino into the empty bed and sat down beside Chouji. "Anything?" 

Chouji closed the book and shook his head. "Not a single thing," He admitted. After confirming Akitsu's story he'd been trying to form a chakra hand, but working with a chakra shape he was unfamiliar with was proving to be a challenge. 

"No voices?" Sakura asked, voice gentler this time. Chouji again shook his head. Sakura glanced at Shikamaru who gave the barest nod- Chouji wasn't lying. 

"Well, when Ino wakes up let the guard know. She'll want to screech about her hair and threaten me for a bit before she eats." Sakura said. 

Chouji nodded and they left him in the room, reading the book of Shigamuran history cover to cover. 

\---

 _'The last royal leader of Shigamura was Princess Fuyumi, whose reign lasted from-'_

"nnhh.." 

_'-to the final year. Her death under mysterious circumstances resulted in the arrest and public execution of her husband, Prince Shoto, and the removal of her children from power. At this time the five noble houses of Shigamura-'_

"Oh my god this is worse than the mission to Hidden Rice." 

Chouji closed his book and looked up. Ino blinked at him, better for some sleep but still looking like death and last week's leftovers. 

Chouji smiled. "Nothing is worse than the mission to Hidden Rice." He said. "Morning. You've been out for almost seven hours." 

"I'm gonna kill her," Ino said hoarsely. "I'm gonna- fuck Chouji I can't move. Why can't I move?" 

"Because you ran all the way here from Hidden Rain." Chouji said. "Probably without stopping for breaks and exhausting all your chakra, because you're kind of bullheaded when you're worried." A pause. "I'm sorry I worried you." 

"Shut up. You're worth it." Ino said. She did her best to roll over and grunted as she managed to sit up. "Everything hurts but if I go to Billboard Brow she's gonna rub it in my face." 

"No she won't." Chouji said. "Ino?" 

"Yeah?" 

"I think I might be possessed." 

The heavens opened up and rain poured down on the skeleton of Shigamura. It pounded on the field hospital roof as Ino said, "Hm. Yeah?" 

"Yeah." 

"Okay." Ino tightened her ponytail, which was as much a declaration of war as Ino gave. "Let me get a shower and a hot meal and we'll damn well see about that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the three overall body types- that is to say endo, ecto, and mesomorphs- are still as far as I can tell considered valid data, as opposed to the utter bullshit of the body mass index. I have many Thoughts regarding how the Akimichi do what they do. Yes. Many thoughts.


	6. in which Akahana listens

Akahana was a proud Aburame. She was proud of her Clan, of her skills, and of her Hive and all the work she had put into it. She was proud to be the hand-picked student of Haruno Sakura and equally proud that she was entrusted with the subtleties that sometimes got lost in traditional training. 

Things like "find out some weird stuff."

There was, however, a place where Akahana faltered through no real fault of her own. For while she was a talented chunin, a determined fighter, a skillful medical student and a cool head in times of trouble, she couldn't conduct a casual conversation if her life depended on it. 

Now Akahana was hardly the first Aburame to have this problem. It was practically their clan's curse. A combination of factors- a natural tendency to introversion, their chosen jutsus and weapons/battle partners being much derided and feared animals, the necessity of heavy coverings like their coats and glasses for the comfort and advantage of said animals, meant that the Aburame, well. 

They weren't exactly the life of the party. 

In fact they had a tendency to kill any party they were at. 

There were ways around this and some Aburame- mainly those without Hives- were quite good at infiltration and information retrieval. These clan members were not necessarily rare but they were few and far between. 

Akahana knew she had a weakness and was determined to overcome it. Sakura-sensei had given her a task and Akahana would complete it. 

The obvious methods- talking people up at bars or in restaurants, having casual conversations on the street- were out, due mostly to the fact that there no bars or restaurants (if you discounted the ones that the Shigamurans were setting up in what was fast becoming a tent city). There weren't a lot of alternatives. 

Akahana, however, was resourceful. 

She found one. 

\--

The Red Sands Playhouse had been in business as long as Sunakagure had existed and its puppeteers were an array of ninja with a broad spectrum of talents and knowledge. This was ordained in its very setup by its first Troupe Master, the Puppet Ninja Chikamatsu Monzeimon. Puppeteers of Suna were entertainers, assassins, public works employees, guards, infiltrators, no-good-dirty-rotten-scoundrels, and legendary. 

Kozue- whose stage name was Mantis- had been surprised and a bit taken aback when Troupe Master Crow nominated her for the trip to Shigamura. She had been determined to do him and her Playhouse proud in this first trip out since the second Great Shinobi War. 

If she was being honest with herself, Mantis was not impressed with the first act. She had not chosen her words as carefully as she could, not moved the right strings at the right time. If not for the Akimichi from Konoha and then the actions of Suikazan from Mist, Mantis was sure that Shigamura's outcome would have been even more tragic than it was. 

Mantis had failed that part of her performance and in the second act she decided to stick with what she knew. Puppetry had a way of soothing hurts and there was a lot of hurt in the rubble. She felt it was only appropriate to perform for the people the story of their fabled Prince. She knew the tale well- it was a favorite of Troupe Master Crow's, after all, the paint design he wore daily that of Shigamura the Mountain Mover. 

Mantis gathered materials, carved and painted, and hung up a curtain. 

It was showtime. 

\--

"Aburame-san!" 

Akahana glanced away from the makeshift stage to see Fujiko waving to her in the gathering crowd. She made her way over. 

"Here to see the show?" Fujiko asked. Akahana nodded. "I didn't know that the puppet ninja of Suna were actual puppeteers," Fujiko said. "I've heard it's very good!" 

"Not entirely accurate," an old man nearby said. 

"Oh how would you know?" A skinny man beside him said. "Were you there?" 

"It's a bit far-fetched, is what I'm saying." 

"You don't go to puppet shows for historical accuracy, you old goat!" 

"Hush it's starting," Fujiko said, and the two men deferred to her with deep nods. Akahana looked from them to her and made a note of that as the play began. 

In normal puppet shows, the puppeteers were on the stage, wearing all black and manipulating the pieces. Mantis was not on stage, all the work done behind the curtain with the aid of chakra strings. It was an impressive feat for a lone puppeteer and Akahana admired the subtlty, keeping her kikai settled when they yearned to chew through the tasty strings. 

Some of the set pieces- like the mountain- had clearly been cobbled together on site, but that didn't matter. The story was dramatic and engaging, tragic in turns- Shigamura's losses before he came to the mountain were great and many. Akahana found herself enraptured by the way the puppets moved, by the way Prince Shigamura lifted the paper-mache mountain, by the way he stood and held and triumphed. 

Her applause was genuine and her interest in the talk in the crowd afterwards true. 

"I think it was a very good rendition," Fujiko said to her. 

Akahana nodded. "Red Sands collects many stories." She said. 

Fujiko's face clouded a bit. "I wonder what they'll make of this, then." She murmured. "A bunch of fools arguing while their castle falls around them." 

"We were saved, weren't we?" The old man asked. "And by Shigamura returned!" 

Fujiko's head snapped up. "Don't you start with that foolishness! Akimichi-san is no such thing."

"He had the strength," the old man pointed out. 

"He is a ninja!" Fujiko protested. 

"His strength is not unusual." Akahana added to the conversation. "It is a reliable mark of his clan." 

"Enough to hold up a mountain?" The skinny man asked. "Seems unusual to me. I heard they found the Prince's crypt. I heard they looked identical." 

"Hardly!" Fujiko protested. 

"How would you know?" 

"I was there!" Fujiko said. "Yes we found the tomb but-" 

The talk soon drew in even more people and Akahana settled and listened. There seemed to be a stark divide between those who believed Chouji had been in the right place at the right time and those who thought that, well. 

A large man with seals had begun their city, and a large man with seals had saved them. That meant something. 

"He knew exactly where to stand!" 

"That doesn't mean anything! He's not born of Shigamura, why would he-"

"The location of the tomb was lost for ages and now we've found it doesn't anyone see that-"

The talk grew even more heated until a few of Shigamura's police patrol had to separate the two arguing groups.

Weird, Akahana thought to herself as she escaped the crush of people, is not the word I would use for this. It was alarming, and she took off for the field hospital at something dangerously close to a dead run.

Sakura-sensei needed to know. The Shinobi Alliance needed to know. And Akimichi Chouji had to be removed from Shigamura _immediately._


	7. In Which Ino Counts Rice

The Nara and the Akimichi had incredibly tidy headspaces. 

The more trained the ninja, the neater the space, of course, but across the board they had well ordered minds. It went without saying that this was due to the long relationship between their clans and the mental jutsu wielding Yamanaka. It was far easier for a Yamanaka teammate to use you as a psychic diving board in battle if you could give them a direct route in and out of your head. 

Ino had always liked Chouji's headspace. The initial drop was in a beautiful field full of tall grass and butterflies- hundreds of the things, all lazily flitting around. There were mountains in the distance surrounded by forest and then there was the house. 

It was a small house, based on Chouji's older brother's home. When Chouji was a genin, the house had two rooms- a kitchen and a bedroom. As Chouji aged and his mind became an adult place full of private secrets and sublter musings, more rooms developed. 

Still Ino knew she would find Chouji in the kitchen and there he was, peeling potatoes. 

"Why is it always potatoes?" She asked him as she pulled out a chair across from him. Chouji shrugged and dropped another potato into a bowl before grabbing a fresh one from the sack by his feet. 

"So," Ino said, "Posession?" 

Chouji made a broad gesture with his peeling knife. "I've been over the place, Ino. Inch by inch- even the shrine out back. I can't find anything." 

"Basement?" Ino asked. 

"Clean." 

"Living room?" 

"Clean." 

"Maybe it's not in the house," Ino said. "Maybe it's out there." 

Chouji glanced out the kitchen window. "The farther we get from here, the lesser the influence on me. Right?" 

"Right," Ino said, following his thoughts. "And if whatever possessed you used you to manifest a chakra projection it has to be in this house." 

Chouichi walked by them, hair down. Ino watched through the kitchen door as he pulled on his ANBU gear and then left, dissipating into light. 

"He's gonna be so mad at me," Chouji muttered. 

"As mad as Shikamaru, you think?" Ino asked impishly. 

"Madder." Chouji said. "I almost made him Clan Heir again." 

"Chouji," Ino said, "did you check the rice?" 

Chouji dropped another potato into the bowl. 

"You didn't, did you?" 

He gave her his best puppy dog look. Ino sighed deeply and stood up. "Where is it?" 

"Ino do we have to?" 

"Yes," Ino said. Chouji sighed and put his knife aside. He stood up and went to a barrel by the window. He opened it and removed a bag of short grain rice. Chouji gave the bag a long, dark look that Ino only ever saw here, in his personal mindspace.

"It's okay, Chouji," she said, and gestured for him to bring the bag to the table. Chouji returned to the table and put the bag on top. He used his peeling knife to slit it open. None of the grains rolled or tumbled. They remained perfectly piled and perfectly white. 

Ino gave them a considering look. "Can you separate out any new ones?" She asked Chouji. He nodded and a good deal of the rice vanished, leaving the bag a little more than half full. 

Ino's smile was small and sad. "So many, Chouji?" She asked. 

Chouji shrugged and didn't look at her. A long time ago that would have bothered her- she would have demanded he face her like a man. Ino was older and wiser now. She knew how much it hurt him to even consider that every angry thought, every moment of guilt or insecurity, became a grain of rice. It had been an ingenious solution for a bullied, lonely child- because who would count grains of rice? 

When they were children the rice had full run of the place but when Ino returned to Chouji's house in the field, after the war, things had changed. Large piles of rice in the back yard had become Asuma's shrine, bags tossed haphazardly here and there had become Chouichi's room. 

That still left this bag, which filled and emptied regularly, kept close to Chouji's center, to the kitchen of his heart and mind- guarded always lest another enemy come knocking and try to find it, to use it to get to those Chouji loved the most. 

After all. 

Who would count grains of rice? 

Ino would, and she rolled up her sleeves and held out a hand. Chouji silently put a pair of chopsticks into them. They were his grandmother's chopsticks, antique and ivory. Ino adjusted her grip and began. 

Each time the chopsticks touched a grain she got a flash of its contents- anger at Shikamaru was frequent, for not trusting Chouji to do his job, for asking him the impossible. Frustration at being trapped in the medical hospital while others moved rubble. Fear of the blackout that had resulted in their current predicament. Deep sadness for the people of Shigamura who had died in the collapse, unable or unwilling to evacuate. A few grains Ino could skip immediately- stale rage over Chouza's decision to pick his second son for the position of Clan Heir, indecision regarding whether or not to speak in the Shigamura council meetings. 

A few were surprising for how they mixed emotions- aggravation and elation came together in moments shared with Suikazan Akitsu. Nervousness and excitement tinged with disgust regarding meetings with Saji- Chouji had always been uneasy around pretty girls. 

Did it take hours? Moments? Eventually Ino found what she was looking for- the moment after the collapse, when Chouji had been entombed alive. 

Only- 

Chouji's hand reached out lightning quick, closed around her wrist but not fast enough to make her drop the chopsticks, not fast enough to prevent her from seeing and when she looked up at him blue eyes wide and said, "You died," he couldn't look away. 

"Chouji," she whispered, and around them the house began to shake, "You _died._ " 

Chouji took a deep breath. 

"I know." He said. 

The house fell apart and they stood in the field, Ino holding the grain of rice and Chouji with one hand pressed over his crushed chest.

Ino looked at the grain. There was something there, whispering- a voice. Making offerings she knew Chouji would not and did not accept. 

"Don't tell Shikamaru," Chouji whispered. 

Ino looked at the grain and then up at the darkening sky. 

She dropped the chopsticks and filled her lungs. 

"WHERE ARE YOU COWARD?!" she howled, and the field filled with bush clovers growing out of control, choking off the grass and frightening the butterflies to swarm. "COME OUT AND FACE ME!"

"Ino-" Chouji began, but the clovers grew up around him forming a cocoon from which there would not be an easy escape. Ino cast out her hands and her eyes and her mind and the ground beneath her began to crack and give. She picked up Chouji's mindscape and shook it like a prospector panning for gold. 

She would find it. She would find the thing that had tried to take Chouji from her, and she would make it pay. 

\---

"Do you think she's okay?" Sakura asked Shikamaru. 

"Ino's old hat at navigating Chouji's head," Shikamaru assured her. "She's fine." 

Sakura looked from him to the two prone bodies on the beds. Ino had declared that the jutsu would take longer than the ones she used in battle and so she'd lain down before she began because locked knees were not good for a girl's health or looks. 

"What if she finds something?" Sakura asked. 

Shikamaru took a deep breath. "She'll deal with it." He said. "Ino's strong. In there, nothing can stand against her." 

Sakura nodded. "I know you're right," she said, "but this- everything about this place has a bad taste, Shikamaru. I don't like any of it." 

"I know what you mean," Shikamaru admitted. There was a black cloud over Shigamura but the Council refused to see it. They insisted that things could be changed but there was no changing the pit in the ground or the unstable rock that even the Iwa ninja were hesitant to touch. People had begun to leave, guided by relief workers who would escort them to other countries for temporary or permanent relocation. 

"Don't you have a meeting?" Sakura asked.

"Soon," Shikamaru admitted, "but we're waiting for Mantis from Suna. She was putting on a puppet show- to raise morale, she said." 

Sakura smiled. "Sounds like something a puppeteer would do. Do you think Kankuro would put on a show?" 

"He'd put on a show alright," Shikamaru muttered. "Let's leave them to this." 

Sakura nodded and stood. The two left the room. Sakura closed and locked the door. 

They hadn't made it two turns of the hallway when Sakura felt Akahana coming at a dead run. She paused and sure enough her student came around the corner at near Inuzuka speed. "Teacher!" she called, and Akahana did not often run and yell in the same day so Sakura looked at Shikamaru and then said, "What is it?" 

"Sakura-sensei we need to get Akimichi-san out of here," Akahana said, "immediately." 

"Why?" Shikamaru asked. 

"Sir we have a religious meltdown happening." Akahana said. "There's-" she gave a short explanation of the puppet show and its aftermath. 

"Great." Shikamaru muttered. "Alright, I'll go arrange an escort. We can't move either of them while Ino is working or we'll disrupt the connection." 

"How long before Yamanaka-san is done?" Akahana asked. 

"There's no way to know," Shikamaru told the Aburame. "it could be in the next hour, it could be-" 

All three ninja stumbled as the ground shook. Sakura grabbed Akahana and made a cage of her arms around her student as the walls trembled. 

"Aftershock?" She asked Shikamaru. The Nara shook his head. "That didn't feel like an aftershock," he said, "that felt like-" 

Akimichi Douma appeared around the corner. "Haruno-san!" 

"Douma-" 

"I just got word from Inari! Shigamura's opened up again and people are falling in!" 

Sakura shared some choice words she'd learned on a mission to Hidden Sand and took off at a dead run. Shikamaru and Akahana followed her. 

The door that Sakura had locked was glowing faintly red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -stirs plot- 
> 
> yes, nicely thickening.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not even going to pretend I know what's going on and if you've read anything I write you know damn well I don't know what's going on. Here's hoping it's entertaining. 
> 
> If you think you see things that are obliquely or obviously referenced in other works of mine you're not wrong- a lot of concepts, names, and story bits bleed into one another in my writing although not all universes are shared.


End file.
